Go, Go, Gadget Delpo!

Well, here he is, our 2009 U.S. Open men’s singles champ. Whether you’re a Fedtard or Rafanatic, you’ve gotta admit: winning your first Grand Slam by bulldozing through both Nadal and Federer in the same fortnight is an amazing feat and takes steel cajones. In this regard, Juan Martin del Potro stands in a club of one.

I remember seeing him live last year in DC en route to his first Legg Mason Tennis Classic title and coming off thoroughly impressed and entertained by his play. If anything, del Potro is a quick study.

The ATP Tour website has a solid blow-by-blow recap of today’s five-setter, and tomorrow’s rankings will reflect Nadal regaining No. 2 from Murray and Delpo leap-frogging Roddick for No. 5:

1. Roger Federer: 11,240
2. Rafael Nadal: 8,845
3. Andy Murray: 8,390
4. Novak Djokovic: 7,480
5. Juan Martin del Potro: 6,845

Congrats to the big man, and, as I tweeted earlier, “Go, go, gadget Delpo!”

The Remaining Eight US Open Ranking Scenarios [Poll]

Crunching post-tournament tennis rankings (well, the top 5, at least) once the semifinals of a Grand Slam tournament have been determined is somewhat of a ritual for me. It’s been ages since I’ve posted, so I thought sharing the projection results on the ole’ blog would make a for an easy Saturday afternoon time-killer.

After Rafa Nadal speed-dialed Fernando Gonzalez off the court in today’s rain-delayed (don’t even get me started on the combination of horrible scheduling and tough luck Nadal was dealt in this year’s Open) quarterfinal, we’ve got our final four: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic and Nadal v. Juan Martin del Potro.

There are a few guaranteed outcomes once the US Open men’s champion is crowned on Monday, regardless of who hoists the trophy:

• Roger Federer keeps his No. 1 ranking.
• Rafael Nadal will overtake Andy Murray as No. 2.
• Juan Martin del Potro will slip past Andy Roddick as the world No. 5, who lost to John Isner in the third round.

There is one ranking outcome that depends on how the semis play out, and the pressure to bring it about lands on Novak Djokovic’s lap. Nole can get his career-high No. 3 ranking back from Andy Murray, but he MUST win the tournament.

Projections and poll after the jump!

Sorry, Sully, But The Jonas Brothers Actually Came First

Andrew Sullivan—lamenting Rolling Stone’s slide into irrelevancy and smelling desperation—shakes his head at the cast of Gossip Girl landing a cover piece on the magazine, wondering aloud if The Jonas Brothers are next.

Slacking

I’ve got no shortage of excuses for falling off with the blogging. Busy with work? Tennis? Twitter? Beautiful weather today? Take your pick.

Lesbians Would Rather Solve Their Problems with a SWITCHBLADE!

UPDATED: The video clip is back, bitches! Man, fuck YouTube.

Since gay marriage is the worst thing ever—forever and ever, AMEN—23/6 has a slick new DIY on how to stop the sinners from sinning their sinny-sin-sins.

Inauguration-Flavored Transitiony Goodness

It’s almost here, people! Come Tuesday, Hopey McChangerson will take the Oath of Office and we’ll have ourselves a brand-spankin’ new Presidente.

A lot is going on in the lead-up to the big day, including one long-overdue event this very night:

At 9:00 p.m. Friday, the highest-level staffers will turn in their gear; and the West Wing will become a ghost town. Chief of Staff Josh Bolten, Counselor Ed Gillespie, and Press Secretary Dana Perino are the senior staffers who will remain here, on standby. Monday is a federal holiday so the White House would be closed anyway. On Tuesday, Special Agent Donald White of the U.S. Secret Service will shadow President Bush, sit in the customary front ‘shotgun’ seat of the limousine, and guard the President until noon. At 12:01, Agent White steps over to a position behind Barack Obama.

Takes Me Back to My Days Interning at Initech

Geekologie truly has the best tipsters, no fake.

I thought I gave good interview until seeing this masterpiece. Ben Schwartz is kind of adorkable to boot. Video after the jump.

Lady GaGa Alicia Keys-ifies ‘Poker Face’

Since Lady GaGa is one of this month’s music recommendations, I’m posting this acoustic rendition of ‘Poker Face.’

Palinroll’d!

I think I just got Palinroll’d.

I’m sifting through today’s snail mail when I see an envelope marked, ‘Office of the Governor of Alaska.’

WHAAAAAT?

My gut response was OH-SHIT-HIDE-SHE-FOUND-OUT-I-CALLED-HER-RETARDED-AND-SHE’S-GONNA-GUN-ME-DOWN-FROM-A-HELICOPTER!!!!111!one11!! confusion.

A) Why won’t this woman go away and B) what the hell am I doing on a distribution list for Alaska’s state office? Does written correspondence have an ‘UNSUBSCRIBE’ button?

After having Ralphie (didn’t know he’s SWAT dog now, didya?) screen for anthrax and explosives, I cracked this bad boy open only to find some good old SPAM:

Oy.

The traffic plan for Inauguration Day is out:

Almost 3.5 square miles of downtown Washington will be closed to vehicular traffic starting at 15:00 (that’s 3:00 p.m., you philistine) on 19 January. Restrictions will end on the morning of 21 January.

DCist has the full deets.